FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE STORM (2009) from Timberwolf West / Midnight Hill on Vimeo.

        

Well, my friends its time for me to the an review for Paranormal Activity.  The movie that of course is taking the horror world by storm.  Everybody knows the story.  Indie horror movie made for $15,000 involving a loving couple and their haunting from an demon in their house.  Now, I warn most horror fans.  I felt going in to this movie that it would be an love or hate affair.  No real in between.  And from judging around the internet it does seem to be about 60% love and 40% hate for this movie.  People have either deemed this the scariest movie of all time in some cases to one of the shitty excuses for a movie period.  Regardless of genre.  I must tell you.  I was an major fan of the Blair Witch Project.  When I did my personal top 20 horror movies on this site the Blair Witch was number one.  Which is funny.  I know people that loved that movie.  And I know people that loathe and hate that movie with a passion.  It brought a certain realism that made it scary.  Well, for me.  Paranormal Activity did the same thing.  The premise was simple.  Set up an video camera and record what happens while your sleeping at night.  Sounds easy enough.  Also, sounds potentially scary as hell.  And it was.  The movie had very real interaction between the characters and an ease that aided in the documentary feel that this feel wanted to provide.  There was very little gore in this movie.  None really to speak of.  Which for me is usually an deal breaker.  However, like the Blair Witch Project it was so real and so disturbing I gave it an complete pass.  You would not think things such as dark rooms, foot step noises, door slamming would still give a fright in this day and time. But, they did.  It certainly makes you wonder what really happens while you sleep.  Now, I must say.  If you tend to not believe in things like demons or ghosts then you probably should just skip this movie entirely.  As I think it brings a certain amount of relation to the fear that this movie provides.  The acting wasn't particularly Oscar worthy but, it was a very simple premise and interaction.  No great love affairs or any of that jazz.  Just two regular people trying to live their lives with something haunting them on nearly a daily basis.  We also see how this takes its toll on their relationship and their functioning as normal humans.  I will tell you that although I did not achieve the level of fear that I received from the Blair Witch I did receive some fear.  Which is a damn sight better than anything named H2.  So far I would say this beats Trick or Treat to become my number 2 best horror movie of the year.  Its not what I would refer to as a fun horror movie the way an Friday the 13th would be.  This is an make you think horror movie.  And make you question.  And in turn one you will own but, probably not watch much due to the sheer drain of it.  I give this movie 5 out of 5 axes.  I really wish I did an out of 10 rating because 5 just seems low.  Enjoy this masterpiece. And good luck on that first nights sleep after.

        

        

Ok,  so its time for me to do the review for the 3rd installment of the Wrong Turn Trilogy.  This time we Three Finger returning for more hillbilly cannibal mutant fun.  Now, I must say before I start this review that I really liked the first Wrong Turn and thought the second one was pretty good for direct to dvd flick.  The 2nd one was pretty poor through the first half and pretty good during the 2nd half.  It lacked a real strong story but, made up with Henry Rollins playing Billy bad ass marine guy.  This time the story centers around prisoners led by an Mexican gangster played by Tamer Hassan and their transport trip from one prison to another which of course takes an Wrong Turn.  It also centers around an prison guard who is played by Tom Frederic.  Now, this movie had some of the trademark issues any movie with only an $1 million budget is going to have.  Some really bad CGI gore in a couple spots, some piss poor vehicle riding scenes, and an actresses in the beginning showing her tits and dropping some REALLY bad porno scripting lines.  Thats where the wreck stops though for this flick.  After the first 10 minutes surprisingly Wrong Turn 3 takes a right turn and has some strong acting and interaction between the characters.  Particularly Tamer Hassan who plays the Mexican gangster perfectly and you could feel the show down between him and Three Finger coming.  I think Hassan's equally morbid side made for a nice twist.   As he saws Three Fingers kin's head off with a knife.  Good stuff.  The gore was much stronger when they stuck to applicances.  Man, paging Tom Savini.  If the gore would have not been CGI I would be really raving about this flick.  There are some notably corny spots like Three Finger swinging in to the back of the tow truck.  Which just looks terrible.  But, they made up for it with a ending that teaches us not to be greedy.  All in all Wrong Turn 3 Left For Dead was quite a bit better than its previous installment.  And the prisoners were all played by actors that seem to have the basic jest for what they were doing.  At least they came across as villians from The Shield or Sons of Anarchy.  Which in the land of terrible horror acting is not a bad thing.  I give this flick 3.75 axes out of 5 axes.  If your a Wrong Turn fan then its a must own.  Otherwise, its a definite rent.  As long as you keep an open mind regarding its budget.

        

Ok, so comes the time for me to review the most anticipated dvd release to horror films in quite some time.  At least since the horrible Laid To Rest came out.  Yeah, I took another shot at it.  Anyway,  this time we have a movie that was filmed almost 2 years ago and had everyones blood pumping since the release of the trailer many moons ago.  This movie is an horror anthology much in the vain of Tales From The Crypt, Tales From The Darkside, Creepshow, etc.  And this time it revolves around our favorite holiday Halloween.  In this flick we see several stories inter-woven in to one larger story.  Developed around characters involving such genre actors and actresses as Brian Cox and Anna Paquin.  The film was directed by Michael Dougherty.  Now, this movie was originally intended to have a release in the theaters however, due to politics of studios or whatever bullshit this movie went through was regulated back to a direct to dvd release.  I am a big fan of torture porn horror or slasher flick horror.  However,  I was surprised to find an highly old fashioned horror movie here.  Which I am usually not an fan of.  But, the characters and the stories were strong enough to keep me interested throughout the entire movie.  There was a little of everything.  A pissed off demon wanting candy,  a mean old man that hates everything,  a principal moon lighting as a serial killer, and throw in some very hot and horny werewolves to boot and you have the makings of a fine horror movie.  Now I have a hard time lumping this in as a great direct to dvd horror movie because it was essentially theater quality due to its original intended release.  However, I will make it one of my favorite horror movies of the year and the best non Michael Myers based Halloween flick in many years.  And maybe ever.  Yeah sorry Halloween III (ha ha joking).  Also, I must admit with all the terrible horror movies that make theaters aka Halloween II its unreal that this got pushed back and I believe to a fault.  This had a Halloween blockbuster written all over it.  So an opportunity was missed.  Makes me wonder if we will ever get a sequel due to its direct to dvd hell.  This movie has its share of gore spots, suspense, and general naughty evil fun.  The film is pretty beautiful in look as it is some what unique the way it comes across on screen.  I pretty much doc this movie 1.0 axes due to it being pushed back.  4.0 out of 5.0 axes.  Yes, I have already bought this.  As should you.

        

        

Ok, so I finally got to see Zombieland this past week.  Man, I really got to get on the ball.  Not having a laptop has set me back a ton the development of this site.  Anyway, that brings me to Zombieland.  I must say I have been fired up from the first moment of the first trailer from months ago.  Now, I believe by the trailer people could tell this was going to be an horror/comedy much in the vain of Shaun of the Dead.  This movie stars Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Bill Murray doing an great cameo.  Essentially, the premise of this film is that the entire world is overrun by zombies and theres not much left.  Few regular folks.  So has Columbus one of our heroes begins his journey back to Ohio he runs in to our other wise cracking redneck hero played by Woody Harrelson.  Now, I don't think I've enjoyed Woody in a picture this much since his role in the comedy Kingpin which to me is the funniest damn movie ever made.  During this hoot across country they meet two young ladies that are con artist and of course they initially get screwed out of their vehicle by the two.   Then Woody has a serious taste for twinkies.  Anyway, guys if your expecting a hardcore zombie movie you definitely will not get it.  Saved that for the great Dawn of the Dead or 28 Days Later flicks.  However, you will be a funny as hell ride. This movie plays as part road trip buddy movie and part zombie movies.  Now I one draw back.  There was so few interaction with actual zombies.  I was kind of surprised.  There was an ton of character development.  Which leads me a bit to believe that they knew they had a real potential hit and setting up a franchise.  There seemed to be too much character development.    Maybe 10 minutes too much.  It seemed to weigh down the movie a bit.   It of course, ends with our heroes rescuing the young ladies from zombie about to be eaten peril.  Now, I am not a big british comedy fan.  Alot of people ask me how it compares to Shaun of the Dead.  And well to me it doesn't.  There just too different of a movie.  Yes their Zombie comedies but, the humor of Britain and the humor over here is just set up differently.  This movie is a definite must see and must own later.  It is a new classic. And you won't be disappointed as long as you know what to expect.  4.0 out of 5 axes.  Pacing was a little off.  Too much character development to get a 5.  But, good fun.  Enjoy.

        

        

Dead Snow aka Dod Sno Movie Review

For christ sakes.  Once in a damn good while movies come around that make you set back and go god damn.  This was it.  I am a particular fan of the zombie genre.  The best in my terms are Dawn of the Dead (the remake or original), both 28 Days and Weeks Later, and the original Day of the Dead.  Shaun of the Dead and Army of Darkness in more comedy/horror terms.  That being said Dead Snow does a little of all of the above.  I must say.  In a weeks time I've seen two of the best horror movies I've ever seen in Poughkeepsie Tapes and now Dead Snow.  This movie centers on several folks taking a nice little vacation up in to the mountains to a cabin (Evil Dead anyone?).  A unique combination of zombies, gore, a beautiful snow top mountain setting, a cabin all collide to make beautiful terror together.  This is a zombie explosion of delight.  Complete with evil Nazi zombies.  Some unreal gore.  Including a guy and a zombie hanging from a cliff by intestines.  A woman waking up to being eaten alive.  A guy chopping his arm off with a chainsaw straight up Bruce Campbell Evil Dead style.  Balls being bitten by a zombie.  Trapped under the snow escape.  Frankly, this movie had just a little of everything.  Even a sex scene right after a guy has taken a crap in a dirty ass outhouse.  God how great is that?  These zombies are fucking mean bastards set on destruction.  I must say it is beyond me that any horror zombie fan could see this movie and not love it..  There is some CGI gore but, not enough to take away from this masterpiece.  This is a must own when it comes out.  5 gore infested axes out of 5.